You're driving to work and the person in front of you won't "move it." Barely on time to get to your classes and the slow driver ahead just managed to get you stuck at a long red light. Sound familiar? We hope so, because millions of Americans are late for important things everyday thanks to people who really don't care how slow they're going in the left lane, lol. Well guess what, we here at autothing.com drive just like you do and we're tired of being late. Sure we can leave home or work 20 minutes early just to accommodate slow drivers, but as always, we took the more entertaining route, no pun intended. We figured that there must be an easier way of predicting and avoiding those slow drivers out there who don't just drive slow, they do it in YOUR lane and they DON'T move. Some will consider all this a form of "aggressive driving". If you do, then keep reading, lol, because you'll enjoy our fun and scientific approach to this!

After years of driving here in the northwest suburbs of Chicago (a perfect mix of drivers from all categories of Life), we realized the quickest way to spot a slow driver is by their vehicle. Seriously, it does not matter what the persons age, sex, or nationality is- it's all in the vehicle! If it's true that you can tell a lot about a person by the way they dress, talk, eat, and even write, we assumed that you could probably make a general prediction about their driving habits strictly by looking at the car, truck, or SUV they own. Didn't you ever wonder what is the difference between a BMW owner and a Mercedes-Benz owner? Neither did we, but it's an example and now we have to finish it, lol. It's known that each of those luxury names are superb, but through sheer "owner observation," BMW owners love to drive their 'Beamers' faster than Benz' owners. We don't know why specifically, but something about the attitude/character of your average BMW owner is definitely different. Essentially then, every vehicle either attracts a certain type of driver personality or molds one; autothing's only duty is to give you a list of vehicles we have observed in daily Life driving so... very... "that's why there's two lanes!"... slow. We have successfully compiled a Top 10 List of the slowest vehicles which you should try to avoid following at all costs. This means that if you expect to get where you are headed on time, do not let these vehicles somehow get ahead of you and do not somehow get stuck behind one of them (you can tell this was a really emotional and entertaining topic to cover :D ). Oh, just in case you own a vehicle on the list below, please remember that this is autothing.com- the site where all cars rule!- even the slower ones... ("phew!")

TOYOTA CAMRY
< Old or new, by far the worst... we'd rather get run over by one >

TOYOTA COROLLA
< Older models electronically limited at 5 miles per hour >

NISSAN SENTRA
< Steer clear!- old Sentras don't respond to gestures or horns >

FORD ESCORT
< So slow, you may almost think the one ahead is parked >

GEO METRO
< Don't let this small car fool you! It can be very, very slow >

FORD & CHEVY CONVERSION VANS
< Older models only, especially those with mismatched doors >

CADILLAC DEVILLE
< Older models are huge Cadillac's with four doors- enough said >

FORD AEROSTAR & CHEVY ASTRO
< They're literally boxes with wheels, so please do not follow >

BUICK CENTURY
< Many visitors say ALL Buicks, but we'll single this one out, lol >

CHRYSLER TOWN & COUNTRY
< Do soccer moms realize there's a world outside the minivan? >

*However, if you are just mad that a vehicle you own is on this list, please sit down with your closest family and friends to discuss the purchase of a new vehicle with a V8 engine or greater.